Saturday, 24 April 2010

The Picnic Part 2: The Scotch Egg!

Ok by now I should hope you all know I never make things that you think should be what they are...which made sense in my head.
So here I present to you, The Scotch Egg! Which of course is a Sweet Scotch egg with a fruity centre encased in Marshmallow and rolled in Amaretto biscuit...Just your average Scotch Egg!







(By the way, for those of you thinking, '...Seriously, what is a Scotch Egg?!' It's not a Scottish breed of egg, it is in fact a hard boiled egg (I can hear you drooling already at the image of that...) Rolled in sausagemeat (Again, bare with me) And rolled in bread crumbs! Ok admittedly when put like that you wonder why this thing exists, but trust me, it tastes delicious!


The Scotch Egg we all know and love.

Tuesday, 13 April 2010

The Picnic: Part 1


No, I am not posting a picture of your humble lump of cheese on a stick, I am in fact posting a picture of your rather un-humble piece of Mango flavoured marshmallow on a stick, which just so happens to look like a piece of cheese on a stick! Genius.
This my friends is part one of my latest experiments to recreate your average British picnic fare of cheese, sausages and other delicacies on sticks alongside scotch eggs, sausage rolls and of course sandwiches and TRANSFORMING them before your very eyes in to works of all things sweet and cake filled whilst keeping their savoury bodies.
Stay tuned for Part 2: The Scotch Egg...or is it?!

Monday, 5 April 2010

The Breadmaker.

I had heard of these mysterious, magical machines many years ago, but until last week had thought them only a rumour; a thing of such power and beauty one could only imagine in their wildest dreams. But last week, as I trekked through the wilderness that I can only call 'a farm', I saw through the mist a glowing beacon. It called to me, beckoning me towards all its baking goodness it held beneath it's PVC-with built in handy window to perv at what's cooking inside window-roof, and I knew I had finally found the holy grail of idiot proof baking. What I had discovered my friends shocked me, confused me, but above all, excited me. Behold, The Breadmaker.


Yes, it's real.

My cries of joy could be heard across the land when I discovered my true love. It even had an option for a crusty loaf! So without a moments hesitation I read its little instruction manual cover to cover, assembled my ingredients, threw them into the bestower of bread machine, selected 'white and crusty' and waited nervously. I couldn't believe I had found something so glorious that eliminated the week long process ye olde bread making usually is of the kneading, the proving, the kneading again until you can finally fill your nostrils with the aroma of freshly baked bread.

In 3 hours and a cup of tea later my little machine had done it for me! It's 'bleeps' of readiness were like bird song.

Perfect. Plus you avoid the inevitable cries of 'I'VE GOT DOUGH ALL OVER MY KNEES!' when for the hundredth time you find yourself misinterpreting the instruction to 'knead' your bread and think it's a fantastic idea to literally, roll your trousers up, bend down, and stick your knees in your bread, and then wonder why a) you look ridiculous and b) have no bread.

Not content with simply using The Breadmaker to make bread, the little voice in the back of my head that often screams 'CAKE!' for no apparent reason made me wonder if you could in fact turn The Breadmaker into...The Cakemaker!

Flicking through The Breadmaker bible that was the instruction manual I actually found a recipe for cake that weirdly said you need to prepare your ingredients for battle. On one side you must have all your wet ingredients INCLUDING your secret weapon, melted butter, for soft butter is not man enough.
Yeah see I may have forgotten about the whole keep your wets and dries separate and started adding my cocoa powder to my wets before hastily ordering the rest of the cocoa powder and flour to retreat before any more damage was done...SO what I did have was a chocolatey mix of my melted butter, vanilla essence and a bit o' milk!
To which I added the dries: Flour, cocoa powder, baking powder and suagr and made a crazy stiff chocolate mix which at first alarmed me but I was reassured it would emerge 'fudgey' which is never a bad thing.

So basically, if baking a cake in The Breadmaker, one must have their entire cake mix ready, so all you need to do is plop this into The Breadmaker's bucket thing, press the handy 'Cake' button and wait anxiously!
Now, I love me a cake that rises with a nice little dome on top. And I must admit I did think this cake would rise up and beyond The Breadmaker's bucket and be more like a cakey chocolate loaf. But alas the mixture sat on its cakey backside for 3 hours, got nice and warm and basically cooked itself into a massive brownie which I managed to pass off as a 'small square cake' to my extended family. I think they bought it. So here you have the cake what was baked in The Breadmaker!

My week at the farm was nicely rounded off with an Angry Cow obstructing the road. The best way to finish a holiday I always feel.

Friday, 26 March 2010

EASTER!

Easter is, by far, the best time of the year. Not only because hot cross buns adorn every supermarket shelf, but because it is the one time of the year you can unashamedly gorge on as much chocolate as you like that if gifted to you as an easter egg, is by rights all yours and so should not be expected to be shared (I uphold this rule more than any other rule in life) No 'snap me off a bit of your egg, you've got an entire egg!' to which my reply is usually 'yes, I do have an entire egg, and i will be eating MY entire egg...*smug face follows followed by smug face in easter egg*' So yes, gorge away friends, and do not be ashamed, for you cannot be frowned upon at this time of year for your extreme greed! In fact people will look on in awe as you polish off your 6th chocolate egg for that hour! I salute you!

And I'm also told there's some religious twist to this time of year...but frankly you ask me about Easter, I'll tell you it's time to eat eggs and hot cross buns...and Jesus might have risen from the depths of a cave where he was probably eating easter eggs anyway...

So Happy Easter! And enjoy those eggs!
And also, enjoy my Easter Cake! Entitled: Lord Bunny and the 12 Apostle Bunnies (no religious references intended in that title at all...*cough*)



Sunday, 21 March 2010

Vegetables...in Cupcakes?!

Now I'm not going to tell you to calm down it's only a carrot cake, because that's nothing new in the world of veggies in cakes. No, what I put in my cakes this very morn is a vegetable through and through and should by rights have no place in the humble cake! But who says so? What if a vegetable feels they were not, as mother nature dictates, destined for a veggie stew, but felt from an early age that there was something sweet about them, something was calling them to a better, sweeter life...
The vegetable I rescued from a life of stew this week! For there will be more bizarre and brilliant veggie cakes on the horizon, is the Courgette! 'Ew!' 'Why would you do that to a cake?!' I hear you cry! Because I truly feel this is the best way to get your greens in you; everything tastes better when incorporated into cake! And you know that means at some point I will attempt incorporating sausages into a vanilla cake...could be amazing...could also be vomit inducing...shall report back when I have exhausted all other options of cake experimenation.
So! Courgette in cake = no butter in cake! For that is the reason these cakes exist...I recently purchased me a new and wonderful book by Harry Eastwood who is all about the veggies!
Now I wasn't sceptical about the success of this cake, cos i figured it just about sounds crazy enough to work and shock horror, it did! Plus I was intrigued as to what would happen if you chuck out the butter and replace it with a courgette...an obvious substitute.
Here's what happened!
I stripped my courgettes naked first. Yes they were alarmed...the smaller one was a little aroused, but now is not the time or place to go into the ins and outs of vegetable reproduction, there could be children reading...

Grated to a mush!



And then used this crazy 'Rice Flour' stuff which is wheat and gluten free don't you know...






It's the world's most liquidy mixture so drippage did occur. But a small amount of ingredients went a long way which is never a bad thing...plus it tastes so weird at this point you're guaranteed no bowl licking will occur!

Tudaah! Looks like cake..smells like cake...but is in fact full of vegetables! Genius.

Topped with some vanilla meringuey icing


It's not as sweet as your average cake, but i kinda like that...It's definitely a more 'interesting' flavour and it definitely doesn't leave you with that 'I want to eat 10 more now please...don't judge me' feeling that normal buttery cakes do! Advantage or disadvantage I shall leave up to you...
So! Courgettes in cakes? I likey. Next time, parsnips in cakes...A step too far? Stay tuned...

Monday, 15 March 2010

Cakes...the German way

Dear readers, do not despair! I have not tripped and fallen off the planet, my lack of bloggage this past week has been due to a short but cake filled trip to the land of Berlin!
I saw ice creams 10ft high and held cakes 10mm wide, I think it's safe to say I really absorbed the culture (cakes) of Berlin.

Berlin I have realised, is a highly torte tastic place to be. 'Surely you mean 'tart'!' I hear you cry!
Do not fear, a torte is not some alien piece of cakeage masquerading as a tart, it is in fact, according to the highly reliable source that is Wikipedia, a 'cake made primarily with eggs, sugar, and ground nuts instead of flour.' and apparently not to be confused with tort which is a civil wrong at law...obviously.

And dya know, the idea of nuts instead of flour is not that dissimilar to our very own Bakewell tart which substitutes flour for ground almonds...I'm sure we had the idea first.

So! Pictures! May I advise the investment in a wipe clean keyboard at this point because the images you are about to scroll through are rather drool inducing, you have been warned.
The Tortes
The Giant Ice Creams
5 Doughnut balls for 1 Euro! Need you need any more of a reason to move to Berlin?!
Healthy slices...because there are strawberries on it.
Last but not least, the Strudel! Twas about 2 1/2 foot long which granted I thought was a large portion, but then it's strudel, so really the extra 1/2 a foot is essential for that moment when you're eating dessert, you realise you shouldn't finish it for fear of looking greedy, but then that all important 'sod it, it's delicious' moment comes and that extra 1/2 foot of strudel really comes into its own.
Not entirely sure what the thing on the right is, but it looked tasty which was reason enough to photograph it.
No visit to Germany would be complete without some trusty Wurst! Display complete with 2 stranded pigs...looking a little 'wurst for wear' (I know that joke was appalling, but it was in my head and it had to be put out there...sorry)
Wurst as far as the eye could see! Even curry wurst if you fancy your wurst a little spicy...

Sadly not a giant chocolate egg, but a 'display' easter egg. Personally I think it's just cruel creating something that looks like a giant chocolate egg and putting it in a public place then delivering that crushing blow when you find out you can't dive head long into it and eat it. I hate it when giant eggs arn't real.


And finally, the best fish ever! If you ever get a chance to go to Berlin, make sure you go to the Zoo, even if it's just to see this guy.
I believe he was chanelling the spirit of Elvis at the time this picture was taken...

Sunday, 7 March 2010

Rabbit Cake

I see how the title of this post could be misleading, but I assure you I have not turned my hand to incorporating game and poultry essences to my cakes, as I don't think 'Chocolate cakes with a hint of the Easter bunny' would go down very well at a children's party...

Whilst leaving my delicious chocolate cakes to cool, something decided to take a running jump head first into my cakes. And so I present to you my take on Easter through cake, with an inspired title: 'Rabbit stuck in a Chocolate Cake'. Enjoy!

(No rabbits were harmed in the making of these cakes)